Where Do Body Image Problems Come From?
In my last blog post, I discussed how to improve body image problems. As an eating disorder therapist and anxiety therapist in Plano, TX, I talk about this topic every day with clients. It may seem just a rite of passage for kids. Yet, negative body image is linked to poor self-esteem, school problems, social anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.
In this post, I discuss where negative body image comes from. This is important because we aren't born hating our bodies! We learn this from a very young age. Unfortunately, it's so subtle that we don't notice it. It's accepted as a normal part of growing up so we don't question it. We even celebrate it, believing that it's ok to be unhappy with our bodies because this keeps us "in control" and "healthy."
But it's not something to ignore! Research shows that hating your body is likely to lead to depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and eating disorders.
What Is Body Shame?
My favorite definition of body image, from body image expert Signe Darpinian, is the image of your body you have in your mind, and how you feel about it. Body shame is feeling there is something wrong with your body.
How Does Body Shame Develop?
The factors that contribute to body shame vary from person to person. But, several common influences play a big role in its development. Below I break them down into problems that arise in childhood, and those that arise in adulthood.
Body Image Problems in Childhood
Childhood experiences play a big role. They shape a person's relationship with their body. Here are some key ways that childhood affects the development of body shame:
Doctor visits and body shame
This can happen when there is too much focus on height and weight, and not enough on other key parts of the child's life and health. Healthcare providers' comments about ideal weight or weight changes can make kids ashamed of their bodies. This is particularly true if the kid is at risk of other mental health problems, especially eating disorders.
As an eating disorder therapist in Plano, I hear about bad experiences with doctors a lot. One client began gaining weight in puberty. Her pediatrician told her she "could stand to lose a few pounds." She eventually entered a treatment center for an eating disorder. Her treatment team explained that weight gain is completely normal during puberty. It's even necessary for development. She said this doctor's insensitivity made her very anxious about medical care. She avoided doctors more and more as she entered adulthood.
Peers and body shame
It's no secret that childhood is full of teasing. It's common for teasing to target appearance and body size. This adds to feelings of shame and insecurity. People may make direct remarks about being "too fat" or "too thin." Or, they may make comparisons to beauty standards. These interactions can greatly affect a child's body image. For a sensitive kid, or one with mental health issues in their family history, this can be devastating.
Sports and body image issues
Coaches in sports or physical activities often focus too much on weight. They link performance to body size or shape. This can pressure children to fit certain body ideals. This can lead to shame if they see themselves as falling short. One study showed that kids often quit sports due to poor body image. Sports should be inclusive of all body shapes and sizes. After all, physical activity has mental and physical health benefits for all bodies.
Other studies find that sports that emphasize appearance, weight requirements, or muscularity put athletes at risk of body shaming by coaches. These can lead to body image problems and eating disorders. Coaches, parents, and sports organizations should promote good body image among young athletes. They should create an environment of acceptance and support. It should not be one of criticism and judgment.
Parents and body image
Parents' concerns about their children's weight and health can also influence body image. While well-intentioned, comments or behaviors related to weight management may inadvertently contribute to feelings of shame or self-doubt.
Social media and body shame
Higher-weight children are often portrayed negatively in the media, with stereotypes depicting them as the butt of jokes or always eating. These portrayals reinforce harmful stereotypes and contribute to the stigmatization of larger bodies, fostering feelings of shame and inadequacy in children who do not fit societal beauty norms.
Trauma and body shame
Traumatic events, like abuse, impact one's self-esteem and body image. Survivors of trauma may come to feel shame about their bodies due to the abuse. This can lead to deep feelings of unworthiness or disgust. Researchers think they may turn to eating disorder behaviors to feel better. Changing their body may bring relief.
In summary, many events in childhood can harm a body image. Parents, educators, and peers all play crucial roles. So do healthcare providers. We can all do better. It's essential to create supportive places that encourage body positivity and self-confidence in kids.
Body Image Problems in Adulthood
As individuals transition into adulthood, societal pressures and experiences continue to shape their perceptions of their bodies. Here are some key ways in which adulthood influences contribute to the perpetuation of body shame:
Family/friends and body image
Adults may encounter comments or judgments from others regarding their appearance, such as remarks like "she really let herself go" or unsolicited opinions about weight gain or changes in physical appearance. These comments can contribute to feelings of shame and self-consciousness about one's body.
Stigma at the doctor’s office
In medical settings, individuals may experience stigmatization related to their weight, with doctors linking almost any health complaint to weight. This narrow focus on weight as the primary determinant of health can lead to feelings of shame and frustration, particularly for individuals who are struggling with chronic health conditions.
Media/culture and body image
The media often perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards and anti-aging messages, promoting the idea that youthfulness and thinness are synonymous with beauty and worth. Advertisements, television shows, and magazines frequently feature celebrities and models who epitomize these standards, creating pressure for individuals to conform to unrealistic ideals.
Celebrities and public figures are often held up as examples of beauty and success, contributing to the perpetuation of unrealistic images and standards. The constant scrutiny of celebrities' bodies in the media can reinforce the idea that achieving a certain body type is essential for validation and acceptance.
Overall, these adulthood influences contribute to the perpetuation of body shame and dissatisfaction with one's appearance. It's essential to recognize and challenge these societal messages to promote body acceptance and self-love. By advocating for body diversity and challenging unrealistic beauty standards, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all individuals, regardless of their size or shape.
Exploring the Origins of Body Shame
Exploring how your body image developed is an activity I do with my clients in eating disorder therapy in Plano. You can do this on your own in a variety of ways or with a therapist to guide you.
Exploring Body Image On Your Own
Create a timeline from birth to present
Think about events that shaped how you feel about your body. Include times you learned about your family's or culture's beliefs about bodies and how they affected you. Include comments that have stuck with you over time. Recall what you were taught was important about your body.
Journal/write a letter to your younger self
You can do this however you want! One idea is to imagine that you’re writing to yourself from the perspective of a beloved relative, mentor, or friend. Another idea is to write it in Be kind and gentle with yourself. It’s important to grieve what you’ve been through with your body.
Read books/online content about body image
Several great books and workbooks can help you explore this topic. Here are a few of my favorites with their websites:
Sonya Renee Taylor of The Body is Not an Apology
Exploring Body Image With Supportive People
Reflect through discussion with others
Beginning to talk about body image can feel scary, but it can be surprisingly helpful if done well! Try having open, honest conversations with friends and family about how you feel about your body and how this impacts you. Sharing can make body image struggles feel more normal and create a supportive space, which is so important.
You might also join group discussions or online forums to connect with people going through similar experiences. There are many social media accounts these days that create a supportive community like this. These conversations can help you challenge society’s expectations and build a kinder relationship with your body. If you want to take it further, challenge your friends and family to NOT engage in negative body talk. Instead, try to focus the conversation on strengths and personal qualities instead of appearance.
Talk to a therapist
Therapy can be a good addition to your self-help approaches if you want to do deeper work. Therapy can be a safe place to explore your body image issues and begin to heal. If possible, look for an experienced therapist who specializes in eating disorders and body image issues. This is especially true if you also struggle with depression, anxiety, or eating disorders/disordered eating.
Have body image issues started to impact your life in major ways? Perhaps body image problems have led to anxiety or even disordered eating. I would love to help you explore this more and improve your relationship with your body! I can help. I have over 25 years of experience helping adults improve their mental health. I specialize in anxiety and eating disorders like binge eating, emotional eating and overeating, anorexia and bulimia. I offer in-person sessions at my Plano office and online therapy in Texas. Contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation and take the first step toward recovery. If I can't help, I can connect you to another great therapist!
