AVOIDANCE IN ANXIETY: HOW ANXIETY COUNSELING IN PLANO CAN HELP

Avoidance and anxiety go hand in hand, and breaking the habit of avoidance is key to recovery. Anxiety is the most common mental health issue in America, affecting about 30% of adults.

As a Plano therapist specializing in anxiety disorders, I witness the damage of anxiety daily. I teach clients how to overcome anxiety by learning to lean into discomfort.

What is avoidance?

People with anxiety often want to escape or avoid feelings of discomfort or distress. Discomfort can present as thoughts, such as "This will never get better" or "People hate me." It can also show up as a general sense of unease or fear. Discomfort can present as physical symptoms, like a pounding heart or chest tightness. Avoidance is staying away from things that trigger this discomfort. These include anxiety-related situations, people, and places.

Why do we avoid?

We instinctively run from pain and discomfort, seeking pleasure and relief instead. This reduces immediate distress. While this is natural behavior and can keep us safe, people with anxiety disorders can take it to an extreme. What is merely uncomfortable seems dangerous. Avoiding the trigger feels like the only way to survive. 

Why is avoidance a problem?

Always dodging discomfort leads to missed opportunities for personal growth and skill development. Avoiding can decrease productivity and limit career advancement. At its worst, avoidance can lead to isolation and depression. All this makes anxiety worse. It ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. You avoid, and feel less anxious, proving to yourself: See! You can't handle this! For some people, this talk spirals into shame, where the self-talk becomes abusive. "You f-ing idiot! What is WRONG with you!"  

Avoidance feels better for a short time but makes anxiety worse in the long run. When you never face your fears, you don't get the chance to prove you can handle them. 

How avoidance shows up in anxiety disorders

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) 

With GAD, people struggle to tolerate the uncertainties of life. Thus, they worry a lot and avoid things due to their worry. They believe worrying is problem-solving and helps them gain some control. 

Panic Disorder

People with panic disorder avoid places where they've had panic attacks. These include crowded areas, driving, or being far from home. 

Social Anxiety

With social anxiety, people avoid social situations. They fear judgment or embarrassment. These situations can include parties, public speaking, and even small talk.

Specific Phobias 

With phobias, people stay away from specific things that terrify them. These can be flying on airplanes, heights, animals, or getting shots.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Those with PTSD avoid things that remind them of a traumatic event. This includes certain places, people, conversations, and activities.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

With OCD, people avoid things that trigger their obsessive thoughts. For example, someone afraid of germs might avoid touching doorknobs or shaking hands.

How avoidance shows up in eating disorders

Avoidance also plays a part for my clients with eating disorders. For these people, avoiding discomfort works like the above anxiety disorders. Feel bad, then avoid to feel better. But, complicating the picture for most eating disorders is negative body image. These individuals feel incredibly uncomfortable in their bodies or about their bodies. So they avoid thinking about it. They avoid feeling it physically. They attempt to avoid feeling the related negative emotions. Controlling their bodies ends up consuming their thoughts and lives. 

Binge Eating Disorder (BED)

In this eating disorder, food isn't about pleasure as much as one might think. Yes, food can bring joy. But, binge eaters say overeating distracts them or relieves bad feelings. Overeating to the point of pain is a powerful numbing mechanism. Thus, they avoid feeling bad.  

Bulimia

In bulimia, individuals engage in both binge eating and compensatory behaviors. Compensatory behaviors include purging (self-induced vomiting or misusing laxatives, enemas, or other meds) and non-purging behaviors (fasting and over-exercising). Again, these are powerful ways to avoid feeling bad. 

Anorexia 

Many are surprised to learn that those with anorexia feel less anxious when they don't eat. For everyone else, the opposite is true. We have strong physical mechanisms that prevent starvation. Hunger signals are one. However, research shows us that folks with anorexia are different. They, too, avoid discomfort, and it shows up as calorie restriction.  

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)

Those with ARFID also avoid food. However, unlike the above eating disorders, there is no body image distress or desire to change the body. These folks avoid foods due to issues with textures, smells, and other sensory factors. They might also be afraid of the consequences of eating, like choking. A bad experience, like choking, can worsen their fear and trigger avoidance. 

How do we stop avoiding?

In theory, it seems pretty straightforward. Stop avoiding! It's super frustrating to people with anxiety to know this, yet struggle to stop. It's much harder than it seems. It takes a strong desire to change and a willingness to take a look at how avoidance is limiting your life. This is tough. Avoidance strategies tend to become habits over time that we don't even notice.  

Change also takes consistent effort. Don't get frustrated if you can't do it by yourself! You may do better with the support of a therapist. I remind my clients that there are 168 hours in a week. Therapy is typically ONE hour every week. If you talk about the problem for an hour and then do nothing in the next 167 hours, the change will be very slow. Our brains love to do the same thing over and over. So, it helps to have someone to monitor your progress and coach you to success. 

Therapy techniques to decrease avoidance in anxiety

As an anxiety therapist in Plano, I am trained in the evidence-based approaches below.  A combination of approaches is often best. Additionally, medication can help calm the brain enough to allow new skills to work. I tell clients to discuss this with their medical provider. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) 

CBT aims to change negative thoughts and behaviors linked to anxiety. Exposure therapy is a proven method. It helps clients confront their fears by facing feared situations or objects. This is done by having the client choose challenges to face in a step-by-step process. This helps reduce avoidance behavior and the anxiety response over time.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

These methods help clients tolerate the distress of anxiety. They also teach mindfulness skills to calm the mind and body. 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is particularly useful for anxiety stemming from trauma. It involves recalling distressing events while using bilateral stimulation, like eye movements. This reduces the emotional impact of those memories.

These therapies aim to give people tools to manage their anxiety. They seek to reduce avoidance behaviors and improve overall functioning.

Plano anxiety counseling can help you stop avoiding!

I hope this info helps you understand anxiety a bit better! If avoidance and anxiety is ruling your life, I would love to help you improve things.  I offer in-person sessions at my Plano counseling office, or video sessions for virtual therapy. Contact me at (469) 850-2420 or danesa@danesadaniel.com for a free 15-minute phone consultation. If I can't help, I can direct you to another great therapist in the Plano area. If you’re looking for help with eating disorders (binge eating or anorexia and bulimia) or anxiety, you can read more about how I can help on my website.